The Fallacy Of Yelling
by gonyonomaru
Summary: Madara x OC One-shot! There were many suggestions that Madara's office should be moved farther away from everyone, but he claimed he wanted to be around people. "Why the hell are you in my office? Get out!" ...right.


Hello! This is just a random Uchiha Madara x OC One-shot I decided to write!

Uchiha Madara- The fallacy of yelling.

"You call this a report! Get out and don't come back until you grow a brain!" Madara bellowed and almost everyone in the Uchiha base winced.

Though Madara's office was conveniently positioned at the far end of the base, everyone could still hear what he was yelling about.

Some even considered making his office five stories underground and ten miles away from the Uchiha base.

Still, the great egoistic ass head that was known as Uchiha Madara would never agree to that, he claimed he wanted to be around people.

"I said get out! Why the hell are you still standing there!"

Right.

"Izuna-san, I'm really so tired... umm... don't make me do this," Siena tried to plead as the Uchiha dragged her in the direction of Madara's office.

"You can see he isn't in a good mood, it might cloud his judgement... Izuna are you even listening to me?" she continued and he just gave her one of his sly smiles, opened the door and pushed her in before shutting the door behind her.

Inside the office, she tugged on the door in an attempt to get away, but stopped when she heard someone clear their throat.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" Madara growled, clearly still angry from the incident with the man that needed to 'grow a brain'.

"I... I'm Siena... Izuna-san sent me here to..." she took a deep breath; one she was sure was her last, before she continued, "to inform you that your yelling is disturbing the many nursing mothers in the base."

She tried to look as dignified as possible as she waited for his reply, but in the end she looked like a little puppy about to be put to death.

"My yelling... is disturbing the nursing mothers?" Madara repeated with a sneer and she nodded meekly.

"Well, you can tell the nursing mothers... THEY CAN DEAL WITH IT!" he yelled the last part and Siena thought she had gone deaf right then and there.

Trying to be polite, she made a small bow and began to leave the room to deliver the message, though she was sure they already knew.

"Where do you think you're going?" the Uchiha clan leader growled and she gulped. "I have to go deliver your message."

"Only speak when spoken to!" he growled and she began explaining he had just asked her a question, but he silenced her with a glare.

"I'm not done with my message and your pointless rambling has made me forget so you will sit in this room until I remember," he announced and she bit her tongue from pointing out that he sounded like a bratty little girl.

Siena stifled a sigh and sat down in one of the chairs in the room. "Who said you could sit down? Stand up!" Madara ordered suddenly and it took her a lot of energy not to slap her forehead in annoyance.

He had just said 'sit in this room'.

She stood up, crossed her arms and closed her eyes. Maybe if she didn't see him, he wouldn't see her, though she doubted it would work.

That bastard could see through walls if he wanted to.

For a couple of seconds, she contemplated humming to distract herself, but she remembered the young Uchiha singer who lost her voice after trying to perform in front of Madara.

"I remember now," he said after ten minutes of useless silence and she reopened her eyes to look at him.

The sooner he spit out the stupid message, the sooner she could go complain about it to Izuna.

"You can tell the nursing mothers that I am the reason they are all alive right now and if they dare try and complain about it, I will have no problems in suffocating each of their children," he stated calmly, but there was that murderous undertone to it.

Siena couldn't help but look horrified at his message, but she didn't make the same mistake twice and asked, "Can I go now?"

He nodded and she quickly exited the room and began making her way to the nursing wing of the Uchiha base. She briefly wondered how they would react, but shrugged it off and remembered the famous quote 'don't shoot the messenger'.

Recomposing herself, she walked into the main room and cleared her throat to get the attention of all the mothers.

"I have delivered your message to Madara," she didn't bother using the honorific and continued, "he wanted me to remind you that he is the reason you are all alive and he will... suffocate your children if you complain again."

Shocked gasps filled the area and Siena quickly excused herself before any questions could be directed at her.

Now she just had to find Izuna, tell him Madara was threatening infants and then go about her business.

"How did it go?" a voice said behind her and simply because she had to be around Izuna everyday, she didn't go running down the hallway in shock.

Though, she had to begrudgingly admit he did still scare her sometimes.

"I'm sure you heard everything, but if you didn't, the main thing is that he threatened to suffocate infants," Siena replied with a shrug.

Izuna raised an eyebrow at her, but then shook his head and said, "And you actually told the nursing mothers this?"

She nodded, and the Uchiha muttered, "Will I ever get to take my nap?" before he turned to look at her and said, "Okay, you're free to go, but I don't think this is the end of Madara's message."

Then he began walking down the hallway in the direction of Madara's office and she was left alone.

Finally, she yawned and decided if Izuna wasn't going to be able to take a nap, she would take a nap for him.

There wasn't much to do for the women in the Uchiha base anyway. It was either have a child, cook, clean or heal wounds.

She wasn't interested in any of that so she used her speed to get her a job as a messenger, but not any messenger, Izuna's personal messenger.

Truthfully, she had no idea why he hired her, but she wasn't complaining because he only asked her to deliver a couple of things a day and she had lots of free time.

By the time she was back in her room, she didn't want to take a nap anymore. She furrowed her brow; it must be because for the first time in her life she had delivered a message to Madara.

He really had looked different from what she had imagined.

She thought that when she walked into his office she would see a large, red faced, devil horned monster amidst a pile of dirt, papers and blood, but instead she saw a man with blood red eyes, unruly black hair and a sharp face sitting at a neat table with not a single spec of dust anywhere.

Though she had to admit the devil horns and blood were a little too unrealistic to begin with.

Yawning, Siena decided she was still up for that nap and closed her eyes.

"She said what! Why the hell would she say THAT to the nursing mothers!" Madara's voice bellowed across the base.

Her eyes snapped open and she gulped. So Izuna had been right, it wasn't the last she heard of Madara's message.

Clearly, the smart thing to do in such a situation would be to run out of the base, burry her head in the sand and stay like that until this whole thing blew over, but she was an Uchiha and had to act like it.

Siena shook her head and waited. Izuna was sure to call for her any second now.

"Madara isn't happy," Izuna's calm voice whispered into her ear and simply because she had been expecting him to come through the door and not the wall, she jumped to the side with wide eyes.

"You... how did you get into my room?" she asked, but then remembered the current situation and said, "So he's unhappy, what do you want me to do about it?"

"I want you to go back to his office and apologize for spreading such rumours through the base," Izuna said and she gasped like he had just slapped her.

"But I only said what he said!" she retorted, completely against going back into his office.

"It doesn't matter, Madara was only joking," Izuna tried to convince her and she huffed, "Yeah right, sir devil Dracula actually cracked a joke."

Izuna ignored her comment and started pushing her out the door. She tried to resists, really she did, but she was a messenger and he was the second most powerful Uchiha in the base.

Seconds later, she was standing back in Madara's office with her arms crossed and she was alone. Izuna had ditched her the second she got shoved into the room.

"Siena, so you have come to apologize to me for spreading rumours around my base," Madara mocked with a smirk on his face.

She would have given him a dark glare, but she was smart enough not to piss him off further.

"Uchiha Madara-sama, I give you my apologies for lying to the Uchiha nursing mothers about your message," she managed to bite out without any sarcasm.

"You sound resentful, is that sarcasm?" he prodded with a growing smirk. She nearly narrowed her eyes, there had been no sarcasm in her voice and they both knew it.

She replied, "No, Madara-sama, I mean every word I say."

He seemed to be getting some twisted pleasure from watching her lie so he continued, "You know that lying to me is a highly punishable offence."

Siena wanted to mimic his voice in high pitch, but instead replied, "So what do you want me to do?"

"Tell me the truth," he challenged, the smirk still on his face.

The office went silent and she contemplated what to say that would be acceptable as 'truth'. She could simply say she thought he was a bastard, but that might get her killed so instead she stated, "Do as I say, not as I do, right Madara-sama?"

The smirk vanished and he narrowed his eyes. "Are you calling me a liar?"

"Did I say that? No, I didn't, you know that assuming things is a fallacy," she reminded with a small smile, all the while knowing she was digging her own grave.

"You... come here," he started the sentence with a murderous glare, but when he told her to come closer to him, the smirk returned to his face.

At first, she was going to run out of the room screaming 'Izuna' all the way, but she knew she wouldn't get far so she took one cautious step forward. He had never mentioned how much closer he wanted her to come.

"Closer, right here," he pointed to a spot right beside him and she internally cursed. Finally, she squared her shoulders and walked right up to him.

Izuna had always told her never to back down, never to be afraid because she had to fight for her position as the Uchiha clan's only female messenger.

"Why this close, Madara?" she asked, but then added, "Madara-_sama_."

If he noticed her little mess-up, he didn't show it as he motioned for her to come closer still.

She didn't. "Madara-sama, if this is all you are going to be doing, I think I shoul-"

He suddenly grabbed her by the chin and twisted her head to the side before he pulled her forward and sneered into her ear, "If you ever question me or contradict me again, I _will_ kill you."

Then he let go of her and she stumbled back a couple of steps. "Now get out," he ordered and she quickly did.

When she was out in the hallway, she shuddered and rubbed her chin to try to get the little Madara germs of her person.

"How did it go?" Izuna whispered and she was so shocked she nearly smacked him in the face with her arm.

"Would you stop that! One of these days, I'm going to have a heart attack!" Siena yelled, but then remembered her place and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell like that... and it went well."

He ignored her outburst and continued, "Really? What did he say to you?"

"Oh... you know... he made me feel like crap, nothing special," she didn't want to mention the death threat.

"That's it? Nothing else?" he probed with a curious glance. "Nope, nothing else," she reassured with a small smile.

Izuna narrowed his eyes. "I don't believe you, he must have said something after he told you to come closer to him."

Siena crossed her arms and changed the subject, "So you were eavesdropping?"

"Yes, now what did he say?" he asked again, but this time with more pressure.

She gave him an evil smile and said, "Why don't you go ask him yourself? He is, after all, your brother."

Then before he could answer, she began walking back to her room. Now she really needed to take that nap.

...

"Wake up," a deep voice beside her ordered.

"Wake up, damn it," the voice said again and this time Siena mumbled back, "Izuna, I thought you told me never to swear... you hypocrite."

"I'm not Izuna you stupid woman," the voice said and this time her eyes snapped open, only to see Madara glaring down at her.

Still half asleep, she said, "You have to put a dollar in the swear jar in Izuna's room for saying the 'D' word."

Then she realized just how childish she sounded so she cleared her throat and in a more serious tone asked, "What brings you to my room, Madara-sama?"

He raised an eyebrow at her sudden voice changes, but said nothing of it. "Izuna left on a mission this morning and he gave you to me to be my messenger for the day."

The blood drained from her face before she narrowed her eyes and swore under her breath.

"Look who's the hypocrite now," Madara couldn't resist but jab.

She took a deep breath and said, "Alright, just give me a minute to... recompose myself..."

He nodded and then he was gone from her room.

When she was sure he was far, she kicked her bed and resisted the urge to curse Izuna right then and there.

Then she remembered whose fault this really was, her own. Maybe if she had told Izuna about the death threat he wouldn't have done this.

Suddenly, Siena frowned and curled her hands into fists. It was only one day... one little day and then this would be over.

Taking another deep breath, she opened her door and began walking in the direction of Madara's office.

As soon as Izuna came back, she would choke him to death. Who cares if he was ten times stronger than her.

"You actually came, I was expecting you to run away," Madara said absently when she walked into his office.

She didn't say anything, as long as she stayed silent there wouldn't be any trouble.

It was a good plan, really it was, but even the greatest plan had its flaws. Like for instance, this:

"You really are stupid aren't you? You haven't said a word for two hours and it makes me think you're afraid of me, right?" he jabbed.

For the past five solid minutes, he had been insulting her in every possible way and still, she stayed silent... until...

"Izuna lied to me, he said you were the best messenger in the base and that you weren't afraid of anything, but he is a complete and utter fool. A liar, a fool, an idiot and a pansy!" Madara announced and at last emotion flashed through her face.

She cleared her throat. "Izuna is none of those things and you know it."

"That's all you have to say? Pathetic, you can't even protect him properly," the Uchiha clan leader continued.

"You have work to do," she reminded and then added, "And Izuna doesn't need my protection."

Madara narrowed his eyes at her and changed the subject, "Here, deliver these to the elders and then come right back. I _will_ be counting how long you will be gone."

Siena took the stack of papers and quickly made her way to the main Uchiha meeting room, gave the elders the papers and began walking back to the office.

Half way there, she smacked herself in the forehead at her behaviour.

She was actually following Madara's orders and _hurrying_ to get back to his office. Smirking, she took a side detour through the garden to relax.

No doubt he would continue insulting her when she got back, so why not get a minute or two of peace and quiet?

When she felt tranquil, she made her way back to Uchiha the total ass hole Madara's office.

"You are late by two minutes, where were you?" he demanded the second she walked through the door.

"I got lost, like you said, I am stupid so I guess getting lost is what I do," she twisted his words to her aid.

"You're lying," he said and narrowed his eyes. She resisted the urge to grin as she retorted, "If I am lying, then the words you spoke were also a lie."

He growled at her, he actually growled, before he sneered, "I told you not to contradict me."

"But I didn't. You said I was afraid of you so why would I even risk contradicting you?" she asked with an innocent smile.

Madara really was such a fool sometimes, getting twisted up in his own traps. Still, he made up for it with his strength and ability to make people crap their pants.

Actually, he was more like a dog. Barking at every person that walked by, good intentions or bad, and then attacking them if they came too close.

"Enough, shut up and let me get back to my work," he grumbled and she chuckled. Now he sounded like a sneaky rat backed up in a corner.

A couple more hours ticked by without a word and he didn't make her deliver anything else.

Finally, she got tired of standing and sat down on a nearby chair as silently as possible. Maybe, just maybe if he didn't see her sitting down he woul-

"Stand up you lazy fool," he said without even looking up and she curled her hands into fists. She had been standing for the past four hours and it was not nice.

Another hour crawled by and her legs were starting to get restless. To solve that, she began pacing around the room in small circles.

"Stop pacing," he ordered after a minute and she asked, "Why?"

It was such an innocent question, but it was also the spawn of the devil.

"Because you are distracting me from my work," he bothered to reply. "Why?" she continued asking, but stopped pacing to see his reaction.

"Just shut up and stand still," he ordered, but she was persistent. "Why?"

His eye twitched and the small crooked smile on her face turned into a full blown grin.

"If you do not shut up this instant I will-" "You will what?" a third voice interrupted the oh-so intelligent conversation.

"Izuna!" Siena exclaimed happily when she saw him walk through the door.

"Well, Madara?" the younger Uchiha reminded of the earlier question.

Madara narrowed his eyes at his brother before turning back to her and sneering, "Go deliver these papers."

Then he pulled out a stack of paper the size of the largest pot in the kitchen and boy, that pot was big.

She picked the stack up and then she realized why she had delivered almost nothing the entire day, he was growing the stack to make her suffer even more.

But that wasn't the worst part, the truly bad thing about this was that each and every single paper was in the wrong order and she had to spend ten minutes in the hallway sorting the papers by name so she wouldn't have to talk to the same person a hundred times.

Half an hour later, everything was done and she sauntered back to Madara's office, ready for more insults and a couple more hours of standing.

When she was at the door to the office, she heard... nothing... not a single noise and it bothered her somehow.

She had been expecting yelling or perhaps hushed murmurs.

Slowly and cautiously, she opened the door and she saw both Uchiha brothers were standing up.

"Siena, I have some very important news to tell you," Izuna began with a strange twinkle in his eyes.

Something told her the news wasn't good.

"I have decided to make you Madara's personal messenger for the rest of the week; he needs you more than I do," he finished off and she gave them both a suspicious glance.

There was something that was off about the whole thing so she prodded, "Why me? I'm sure there are more competent messengers in the base."

Finally, Madara spoke, "Yes, but I have taken a liking to you." It was a blunt lie, more like a hidden threat actually.

She turned to look at Izuna and asked, "Did I do something wrong? Was I too slow? I promise I won't ever mess up again, just tell me what horrible thing I did to deserve this."

Madara didn't seem to like her out look on this job as a punishment, but he didn't get a chance to say anything because Izuna replied, "You didn't do anything wrong, I just have a long mission and Madara needs a messenger."

Siena sighed, squared her shoulders and in monotone replied, "I would be honoured to be your messenger, Madara-sama and Izuna-san, if I was any bolder, I would run out of this room screaming."

Then she promptly left the room, the work day was over and it was free time until tomorrow morning.

By the time she was back in her room, she felt like a prisoner about to be hung.

For the rest of the week she would have to be stuck in Madara's office and she would have to act like a complete icicle.

No more snide comments, naps, walks in the garden and most importantly food. The entire day, neither she or Madara had eaten a thing and she wondered how he managed to pull it off.

In the days before she was Izuna's messenger, she had been used to getting one meal a day and working the rest of the time.

She decided she would ask him the next day and she quickly got ready for bed and went to sleep early.

Something told her that tomorrow was going to be a long day.

...

"I know what you're trying to do, you are not going to say a word all day just to annoy me until I force you to speak and make myself look like the bad guy," Madara said half way through the work day.

Siena gave him a long blank stare, he was over thinking her silence.

Good.

"But I know what I can do to make your plan fail. I command you to speak now!" he announced and she raised an eyebrow at him before she said, "When I first met you, I thought you were the smartest person in the Uchiha base, but now I see that is not the case."

"Are you calling me stupid?" he demanded with a snarl. He was pleased she was obeying him, but that was now what he had wanted her to say.

"No, you are assuming things again," she reminded and he narrowed his eyes.

So she was tricking him with his own words again.

"You think you're so smart don't you? Well you're not because I command you to be silent and if you say another word today I will cut your tongue off," he threatened and she simply gave him another blank stare.

Two hours later, there was a small rustling noise and Siena took a small pack of cookies out of her pocket before promptly devouring them all.

Madara watched with some amusement as the cookies disappeared and a small, satisfied smile formed on her lips.

He resisted the urge to crack his knuckles as he thought about how he was going to make that smile go away.

"Did I say you were allowed to eat in my office? No I didn't, so I order you to stick your fingers down your throat and puke up all those cookies," he said and a look of horror flashed across her face.

She was going to argue, but she remembered she couldn't talk so she simply shook her head in defiance.

Those cookies were staying just were they were.

"Are you going against my orders?" he questioned and she didn't move a muscle and pretended not to hear him.

"I will not repeat myself," Madara sneered after a pause and still she didn't move. Yes, it was risky and it might get her killed, but she was not going to back down.

Suddenly, he was standing in front of her, his Sharingan activated and she shut her eyes as an instinctive reaction.

One glance into those blood red eyes and she was doomed.

"Look at me," he ordered and she opened her eyes to look at his feet.

"Look in my eyes," he specified with a sneer and she shook her head again.

He sighed and he was going to force her to look up at him, but suddenly she was making strange hand gestures at him.

First, she pointed at herself, then she shook her head and finally she used her hands to make the gesture for 'talk'.

Madara raised an eyebrow at her little message. How did her not being able to talk have anything to do with his order?

Then she made a plus sign with her fingers before pointing at herself, shaking her head and then pointing at her ears.

"You can't hear me?" he gathered from her signalling and she simply shrugged.

He sighed again before getting a piece of paper from his desk and writing 'you can talk again'.

When she read the message, her eyes lit up and she said, "I'm not going to puke up those cookies and doesn't it seem strange you care so much about something like that? Your work should be more important and this is the first time I've seen you walking around, I was expecting you to have a limp for some reason."

The Uchiha clan leader's eye twitched at her little ramble before he said, "From now on, no more food in my office."

Siena nodded, but asked, "If you don't eat in your office... when do you eat? Or do you starve yourself like most of the other Uchiha women."

It was no secret that the women cared deeply for their appearance, just like Madara, so she couldn't help but make that little jab.

"No, you can starve yourself all you want, but I have better things to do," his voice was at the edge of a sneer and he seemed a little tense.

Finally, the context of what Madara had said reached her brain and she retorted, "What? I don't starve myself! Why do you think I brought the cookies?"

He tensed up even more and didn't even reply to her comment as he sat back down at his desk... and well, sat... still...

Siena didn't say anything at his strange behaviour and simply resumed standing silently by the door.

Suddenly, the door to the office flew open and several tall, beautiful women marched in.

"Madara-sama, we have returned for you and we trust you have made your decision," the first one said before all seven of them posed in front of him.

Siena raised an eyebrow at their revealing clothing, but stood still and continued to watch.

Madara cleared his throat and looked over all the women there before he said, "Yes, I have my decision, I choose you, Saphira, to be my fiancé and future wife."

The female messenger's jaw nearly flew down to the ground in shock, but she regained control of her emotions and stared blankly at this woman, Saphira.

She had long red hair, onyx eyes and a sharp face. In short, she looked like a red haired, female version of Madara.

They were perfect for each other!

The other women quickly filed out of the room and it was just the three of them.

Finally, Saphira noticed her and said, "Who's this? Your servant girl?"

Siena smirked and replied, "Madara? Why didn't you tell me about this woman? I thought it was going to be just us in this office."

He looked horrified for a second so she chuckled and added, "Just kidding, I'm his messenger."

Saphira narrowed her eyes at Siena, but then turned her attention back to Madara and said, "Have you decided a day for our wedding to be held?"

Madara shook his head and didn't say anything. Siena continued to chuckle and he heard her mutter 'he is so whipped'.

Saphira didn't seem happy with the mocking atmosphere coming from Siena so she said, "Alright, think about it and get back to me as soon as possible."

Then she quickly left the room and Siena couldn't stop herself from bursting out laughing and giggling around the room.

"You... are getting married... to that? Haha... I actually feel a little bad for you... oh... nope, that's just pity you poor, poor soul," she said between chuckles.

The Uchiha clan leader finally got sick of her insanely large grin so he snapped, "I'm not getting married!"

She stopped chuckling and questioned, "You're not...? But... I had already planned what your wedding present was going to be... this!"

Then she made an 'L' on her forehead and stuck her tongue out at him.

Siena could barely resist the urge to chant 'loser' over and over again as she waited for him to reply.

"I am going to kill her," he stated suddenly and she gasped dramatically before sobering and demanding, "Are you kidding? You can't kill her! It would start a war with whatever red haired clan she came from."

The office went eerily quiet and he whispered, "She is Uchiha, it will be of no consequence."

She stared at Madara for a full minute before she whispered back, "So I was right, you are stupid. You think that killing will solve all of your problems."

He glared up at her, his Sharingan activated again, but she ignored everything and continued, "You are the Uchiha clan's leader, you should be able to think of something smarter, like perhaps saying 'no'."

"It's not that simple! If I don't get married I will no longer be the clan leader and I refuse to give up my position," he snapped.

"Then get married, she's beautiful and you should have nothing to complain about... unless you have commitment issues," Siena conversed.

"Just be quiet, you could never understand something like this," he muttered and shook his head.

Siena frowned, she did understand these things. "You're wrong, I do understand. In fact, I know exactly what you're going through," she said, venom slowly leaking through her words.

It brought back a lot of unhappy memories she didn't want to go back to.

"Before I became a messenger, my parents tried to force me into an arranged marriage and when I refused, they disowned me. I was left with nothing but the clothes on my back and I had no idea what to do. I could have gone back and agreed to the marriage, but I didn't and instead I began to work here. I do understand Madara, and I know you do not have a choice now. Just get married and don't complain," she finished off quietly before turning to walk out the door.

Madara sat in the office and narrowed his eyes. So she hadn't been some lucky bimbo that got the job easily, she had worked for it.

That did make his respect for her rise a notch, but the information she told him made him rethink his options.

He had no choice but to get married. A frown formed on his face as he imagined his married life.

An unkind, demanding wife, painfully loud children, along with all the problems he had now, paper work, war, blood shed and constantly having to be alert.

He had already long lost count on how many assassination attempts there had been on him.

His frown deepened and he ran his hand through his hair.

This was not how he planned his life would go.

...

Siena sat in her room, stuffing herself with cookies and other sweet food she had found in the kitchen.

Her conversation with Madara had made her start thinking about all the events that had happened a few years back.

She had just been a happy little girl... She shook her head. Even though her life had not turned out the way she had wanted it to, she was still happy.

A great boss, a wonderful place to live, lots of free time, she had everything she had always dreamed of... except of course someone to love, but she had given that choice up years ago.

There was a knock on the door and she hastily hid her sweet treats before going to answer it.

It was a messenger, ironic, a messenger delivering a message to a messenger.

"This is for you, from Madara-sama," the messenger gave her a small envelope and then left with a pack of twenty or so identical ones.

Siena closed the door and opened the letter with mild interest.

It read, 'Siena, I have chosen to invite you to my wedding banquet this evening, it is very important that you come, signed Madara.'

She read the letter over again and then shrugged. She hadn't the slightest clue why he was inviting her, but she wasn't complaining.

Banquets were fun and there was always lot of food there.

Shaking her head, she realized how much she sounded like a pig.

It must be because she had been deprived of any female companionship for so long.

That evening, Siena showed up at the main banquet hall wearing a simple unfeminine outfit consisting of long black pants, a grey dress shirt and little black boots.

She knew she should have worn a dress, but it would have been too uncomfortable for her.

For the first twenty or so minutes, she talked to a couple of guests and stood around, waiting patiently for the food to arrive.

More specifically, the dessert.

Finally, everyone began sitting down at the large table in the middle of the room and Madara and his fiancé were at the head of the table. She was somewhere near the middle end.

A small ringing noise made all of the guests fall silent and turn to look at Madara, who was standing up, ready to do the toast.

"I thank all of you for coming," he began in a tone that didn't really match his words. "Today, I have a special announcement to make about my marriage."

His eyes met with Siena's briefly and he continued, "I will not be getting married to Saphira, I refuse this marriage and I invoke the law that I get a month to choose another bride or my position as leader of the clan will be compromised."

Everyone gasped and instantly quiet murmurs started throughout the table.

Meanwhile, Saphira stormed out of the banquet hall and Madara went in the opposite direction.

Siena looked around for a second before shrugging and going back to her room.

Madara was lucky he got a month to think things through properly.

When she was at the door to her room, she narrowed her eyes upon seeing it was open.

She cautiously peeked in, fully ready to have to get rid of a thief, but she was somewhat surprised when she saw Madara sitting on her bed.

"I couldn't get married to her. Our lives would have been horrible," he sneered more to himself than her.

"Good, now you have a month to figure out what you're going to do. Oh I know, you can marry some random guy because I'm sure that everyone thinks you're gay because you refused to marry such a beautiful woman," she blabbered on.

"I'm not gay," he stated before he continued, "and I already know what I'm going to do. I will find myself I nice, caring girl and marry her."

Siena chuckled for a full minute before saying, "Even if she is nice when you find her, she's going to be horrid if you try to marry her."

He gave her a questioning glance and she continued, "If you force some kind girl into marriage, she'll become a total bitch to you."

"Oh, so she'll become like you," he jabbed and she crossed her arms.

She was sarcastic, not bitchy.

Then she said, "Wait, why are you in my room in the first place?"

"It doesn't matter, now I expect you to be ready for work tomorrow morning," he said before standing up and walking out of her room.

Siena shrugged before laying down for a short nap. There were still a couple of hours left before she had to sleep.

...

"Can I go greet Izuna?" Siena asked at the end of the work week, the day her boss was supposed to return from his mission.

"No, I might need you to deliver something," Madara replied without even looking up from his pile of papers.

She scoffed. "Fine, what if we go greet Izuna together?"

"No," was the somewhat annoyed reply. The female messenger shook her head before smirking and saying, "Why?"

"I thought I told you that word was forbidden in my office," Madara replied with growing annoyance.

She fell silent for a full second before asking, "What is the reason I can't go greet Izuna? There, I didn't say your forbidden word."

His eye twitched. "You can't go because-" "because you're secretly jealous I'm so excited to see him," Siena interjected.

"Don't interrupt me," he grumbled with a glare and she simply retorted, "I didn't! I was merely adding to your point."

He stopped writing and looked up at her before saying, "I was going to let you go greet him, but because you interrupted me, I changed my mind."

She gasped, but then narrowed her eyes at him. "You're lying just to make me feel bad, but I don't! I have no regrets! ... but could you still please let me go?"

Madara let out a long sigh and said, "Fine, go."

Siena smiled at him and she was going to walk out of the office, but suddenly Izuna opened the door.

She groaned loudly and Izuna gave her a confused look. "I thought you would be happy to see me."

"I am! It's just that I finally got Madara to let me... err... Madara-_sama _to let me go greet you and then you came in," she replied with a sheepish smile.

Izuna nodded and then turned his attention to his brother, who was currently glaring at Siena for forgetting to use the honorific.

"How have things been going, has Siena been a good messenger?" he asked.

Madara looked at him and bluntly said, "No. She either contradicts me on everything or doesn't say anything for hours."

She crossed her arms, but let him continue, "Plus, she always uses my own words against me!"

"But she's delivered everything correctly?" Izuna asked and Madara nodded.

"Good job Siena, you make me very proud," the younger Uchiha brother complimented before patting her on the head and walking out of the office.

Siena grinned at Madara, who glared at her at the praise she got from his brother.

"Anyway, how has your search for that kind girl been going?" she asked out of the blue.

He looked like he was going to say something, but then looked away and muttered, "I found no one."

She opened the door to the office and said, "Well good luck, but I know where you can look, the retirement centre, I heard old people are very kind."

Then before he could reply, she ran out through the door and down the hallway.

Back in the office, Madara took a deep breath and bellowed, "This isn't over!"

Siena chuckled and continued to run down the hallway toward Izuna's room.

Her work with Madara was finished now that he was back and she was looking forward to nice relaxing days in which she could sit in a chair.

When she got to his room, she stood outside the door patiently and waited for him to come out.

A few minutes later, he did and he said, "While I was on my mission, I did a lot of thinking."

Siena bit her tongue from making any rude comments and he continued, "And I realized that the week you were his messenger, everything was strangely quiet."

"Yes, it was, but how did you know that? Weren't you supposed to be out of the base?" she questioned with a suspicious glance.

Izuna nodded. "I was out of the base, but different messengers kept telling me something what wrong because of the silence."

She raised an eyebrow at him, where was he going with this? "Siena, I think the silence is because of your presence, but I'm not completely sure so for the next week you will stay away from him and we'll see how loud it gets."

It was an interesting theory and she wondered what the results would yield. "Wait Izuna, what if he gets louder because I'm gone? What will happen to me then?"

He gave her his typical sly smile and said, "I'll make you his personal messenger."

She went pale. Who her future boss would be depended all on how loud of quiet Madara was.

This was not good, not good at all.

That evening, Siena was by her bed on her knees, praying.

"Hey... uhh... Kami-sama... I know I don't pray to you as often as I should, but I really need your help on this one... please make sure Madara-sama is really quiet this week, or I will have to work for him... please, I like my work with Izuna now... whatever your decision... thank you," she finished and got up off the floor.

Then she quickly went to sleep and hoped for the best. She really had no idea what she would do if she had to work for Madara long term.

Actually she did, she would have a super tantrum before having vast amounts of foam from her mouth suffocate her to death.

...

"What the hell took you so long! Did you trip over your stupidity you pathetic, slow, stupid piece of crap of a messenger?" Madara's obviously angry voice bellowed across the base the next morning.

Siena groaned as she got up. She had not expected to be woken up by yelling.

"Now get the hell out of my office and get Siena over here!" Madara continued to yell and she froze.

She had exactly nineteen seconds to get dressed, jump out the window and run far away from the base.

As she was pulling a shirt over her head, there were three ominous knocks on the door.

At first she simply stared at the door, but then she cautiously sauntered over to it and opened it a crack.

"Siena, Madara-sama requests your audience, though I'm sure you already know," he said and she nodded before saying the first thing that popped into her mind, "Tell him I'm dead and I don't want to be disturbed."

He gave her a confused look, but then nodded and ran in the direction of Madara's office.

She sighed in relief, thought it only lasted for a second because she realized Madara would probably be not very happy at her blunt refusal to come to him.

Then a tiny thought disturbed her thoughts, why oh why, was she trying to get away from him in the first place?

Right, she wanted Izuna to be her employer, not him.

Getting her priorities straight, she finished getting dressed and she was half way out the window when her door was roughly thrown open by Madara.

"Erm... hello... Madara-sama... this... this isn't what it looks like," she managed to say as she tried to hold her balance on the windowsill.

"Then what is this?" he questioned with a glare. "Well... the thing is... I was going to disappear for a couple of days, the messenger told you I was dead right? I was going to go pretend to be dead," she rambled on, making no sense at all.

"So you are afraid of me," he paraphrased and she narrowed her eyes.

"No! But I am entitled to a few vacation days in a year right? This is one of them so I refuse to be disturbed," she changed her story again, making even less sense.

He ignored her strange comments and walked over to her, only to pull her back into the room and out the door.

She tried to pry his grip off her arm at first, but then let herself be dragged to his office.

When they got there, he let go of her and said, "Do you even know why I wanted to call you over here?"

Siena was going to say something about work and such, but then realized she was assuming things and shook her head.

"I was going to tell you what a great messenger you were last week, but now I changed my mind. You were horrible," he teased and she tried to hide her annoyance.

"Thank you for informing me, but I have to go," she began inching toward the door, but he stopped her with a glare.

"No, I actually wanted to tell you I still haven't found any nice, kind girl to marry and I want you to find me one," he growled, clearly uncomfortable with discussing such a topic.

She burst out laughing at the absurdity of the whole thing for a full two minutes before calming herself and saying, "I'm sorry, it was just so funny, but if you're serious, just find a servant girl. It'll make you look like a pedophile, but they are usually kind."

He crossed his arms. "I already tried that, they were all afraid of me or they threw themselves at my feet."

"And you didn't like either of that?" she questioned with a confused frown.

Madara shook his head and Siena sighed. This man was simply too picky.

"So your dream woman can't be afraid of you, can't throw herself at your feet, can't be anything like Saphira and she needs to be kind?" she paraphrased everything.

"Yes, she has to be right in the middle," he confirmed with a wide smirk.

The office went silent as Siena tried to rack her brain for any such woman that could possibly fit the characteristics he was asking.

She furrowed her brow and at last stated, "You have to give up one of your features of a woman because I know a few people that would meet almost all of what you're asking."

He thought about it and then said, "She can be afraid of me."

Siena sweat dropped, but nodded and began telling him about everyone that could fit the description.

Ten minutes later, Madara said, "So it can be the cook, the orphan caretaker, or the medic in training."

She nodded and after another moment of consideration, he said, "I want to meet the medic."

"Okay, let's go," she said and began walking toward the medical wing of the Uchiha base.

When they got there, they asked to see Akiko, a medic in training, in private and she came to them quickly.

The second she saw Madara, she froze over and stuttered, "M-Madara-sama... is there something you needed?"

Siena nudged him in the side and he said, "I only want to talk. Tell me what kind of background you have."

"I-I...grew up with a kind family and I wanted to be a healer since I was a little girl, but I only got the chance a few years ago," she said, uncomfortable with his piercing gaze on her.

Madara turned to Siena and said, "No, I want to see the orphan caretaker now."

She sighed, but then turned to the younger girl and said, "Sorry for the disturbance, please go back to what you were doing and have a nice day."

Akiko nodded and left the room. When she was out of earshot, she scolded, "What were you thinking? She was kind looking, pretty and not to mention meek."

He glared at her. "Something didn't seem right about her, she didn't have a backbone."

"No one has a backbone around you! You just give off such a murderous and evil aura, even the strongest women falter," Siena explained.

"But why don't you?" he asked with narrowed eyes. "Because, I know you're not going to hurt me because Izuna will chop your ass to bits," she retorted before heading in the direction of the next woman's room.

Half an hour later, Siena sat in Madara's office with a frown on her face.

"You are too picky, there was nothing wrong with either of them and still you refused them, quite rudely in fact," she ranted at Madara's expense.

"If none of the 'simple' women settle you, then why don't you choose one of the many drop dead gorgeous women that throw themselves at your feet and practically beg for your attention," she continued to ramble so she didn't notice the growing smirk on Madara's face.

"And if you don't like any of them, you can always find a woman from another clan, but let's face it, you are too pick-" "I have chosen a woman," he interrupted her suddenly.

Siena's face lit up and she clapped her hands happily. "Well? Who is it?"

His smirk widened and he said, "Izuna."

She visibly flinched and after a twitch she yelled, "Izuna! You can't marry Izuna! He's your _brother_! You stupid gay incest filled turd! Now I know why you didn't like those women! You're gay!"

Outside the office, every single Uchiha in the base paled considerably, especially Izuna, who had been spending some quality time with his girlfriend.

Back inside, Madara jumped up from his seat and covered Siena's mouth with his hand roughly to stop her from screaming any more.

"It was a joke," he muttered into her ear and she relaxed somewhat, but then tensed up from having him so close to her.

Finally, she got over her discomfort and mumbled through his hand, "I hup oo wahed oor hands."

Translation to normal English: I hope you washed your hands.

He let go of her mouth and she spoke again, "So you actually haven't found any _woman_ for you to marry?"

Madara nodded. "I found a woman, and she is right here... it's you Siena."

She gaped at him for a second before she suddenly found everything went black and someone was shaking her awake.

"Wake up, wake up!" Madara ordered and she slowly opened her eyes.

What on earth had just happened?

She asked him and he replied, "You passed out after yelling about me marrying Izuna, it was a joke you know."

Relief washed over her when she realized nothing after that had happened, it had been a simple hallucination.

"So you're not going to marry Izuna?" she asked to confirm. He nodded, but then grumbled, "But everyone in the base thinks I will, no thanks to you."

"Sorry, I thought you were actually serious," she said sheepishly and stood up from the floor.

"Since I've found no one, I'm simply going to abolish that law and move on with my life," he said after a few minutes of silence.

"You can do that?" she asked with growing curiosity.

Madara nodded and continued, "Yes, and if they refuse, I will beat the sense into them. My strength does come in handy."

Siena chuckled for a second before gasping and saying, "Izuna is with his girlfriend right now! They have to know Izuna's not actually going to marry you!"

Then before he could stop her, she was running in the direction of Izuna's chakra.

When she got there, she found him in his girlfriend's arms, unconscious.

So she wasn't the only one that passed out from shock.

...

"Siena, as a punishment for making me pass out yesterday, I am now giving you to Madara to be his personal messenger," Izuna announced and she resisted the urge to groan loudly.

"Fine, but know this, I was just as shocked as you were," she stated before turning around and walking out of the room.

When she was far away, a small smile graced her lips at the thought of getting to spend more time with Madara.

After you got past the menacing aura, he was a nice person to be around.

"Siena, hurry up and get over here, I have a few new rules to teach you, one of which is that if you use any of my words against me, I _will_ make you suffer," Madara threatened.

Scratch that, he was an ass hole.

The end!

*Relieved sigh* Thank goodness this one-shot is finally finished! It was much, much longer than I expected because of... well... me. Sorry about the semi-clear ending, but I didn't want to end it completely stereotypically, it's the reason I had Siena pass out after she yelled about Izuna and hallucinated Madara told her he was going to marry her.

Any thoughts?


End file.
